What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What can melt your heart?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

What are the possible reasons for people feeling depressed after the holiday season? Why does being alone exacerbate these feelings?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Have you ever had sex with your husband's friend in front of your husband? Please tell about it and elaborate.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Can you explain the concept of an annulment of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church and its effects on a previous marriage?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

What are the best self-care practices to improve mental health?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What’s the best way to get over someone you love?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Are there any guys, crossdressers, or transgender girls here who wear tampons?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I have the power to talk to aliens through using telepathy. Why do people think I'm crazy?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What is the best way to get over your ex?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?

Make Nazis afraid again!